The Wizard of ADD!

10 12 2010

I don’t live on a farm, not anymore. I live in the burbs. And I’m not from Kansas, I’m firmly ensconced in the Great White North (Ontario, Canada). But lately I’ve been feeling like I’m trapped in a very bad remake of the Wizard of Oz.

It’s bad because it doesn’t follow the original plot very well and, for some inexplicable reason, I keep changing characters. At different times I’m the Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow, the Tin-man, Dorothy, the Wizard and sometimes, even Toto (when I’m running around, barking at everyone while they all ignore me).

Can’t forget the lollipop guild

First, lets get the honourable mention out of the way. The munchkins, the little people who flit and buzz around. The ones who seem to be always doing the right thing, always organized, always looking at me with funny, questioning looks. The ones I like to refer to as normans (normal-humans). To them I say: like the people who ask to be remembered in my will – I remember you.

Put ‘em up, put ‘em up!

But back to me … I liken myself to the lion because so much of my life is a bluff. I’ve blustered my way through most things, wondering why the world is so willing to believe I’m in control of my life. In the end, courage is something that can develop from just such bluffing behaviour. I just hope mine holds up.

I know I’m the scarecrow, scatter-brained and distracted. I do know the Pythagorean Theorem (the square on the hypotenuse is equal to etc., etc. … ) and – wow, can I ever be flammable.

As to being the Tin-man, I’m not heartless, I just don’t always notice when people need my sympathies or help. I’m trying to get better at this and I could use some assistance. Let me know, as I walk by, that you could use a hand carrying your groceries or fixing a flat or whatever. Chances are, I just didn’t notice.

Trapped in a mans body?

Can I empathize with Dorothy? Can I ever. Okay, I’m not confused about my gender at all, I know I’m 100% male. But I can really feel for Dorothy when she gets picked up by a tornado and ends up in the Land Of Oz. I was picked up by a similar force of nature and deposited in the Land Of ADD.

I’ve even met the witches. The wicked one is the animosity, confusion and misunderstanding that comes my way when I start representing my self to the world as an ADHDer. Even doctors can have a bit of wicked witch in them at times.

The good witch is a friend who waited for me to discover my ADHD rather than telling me. I suspect she asked me some leading questions, subtly pointing me in the right direction. Finally, she was there, as a friend, when I found the path. Thank you Gwendolyn, you truly are a good witch.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain …
(you knew it was coming!)

But am I the Wizard? Yes. Yes I am! I hid behind a curtain, not realizing that it hid the world from me as surely as it hid me from the world. I manipulated my environment, at arms length, in order to live for 50 years in confusion and then denial. I had little self awareness, preferring to think of myself as the magician that was holding everything together in the midst of all the bad luck I experienced (those damned monkeys). In truth, I was the bad luck.

There’s no place like home …

One last, significant difference between ‘The Wizard Of Oz’ and my life as the Wizard of ADD is that I am here in the Land of ADD and I haven’t got any Ruby Slippers. Looks like the hot air balloon left without me too.

Come on Toto, lets have a look around.

 

P.S. stay tuned for my Christmas gift to every one on the twenty-fourth. Taylor.
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One response

15 12 2010
Zoe

“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…”

*sigh* Better get used to it, my friend. As you say, there’s no going back now. And from my perspective, it’s even more confusing, dangerous, magical and intriguing than Oz will ever be. Well, you know what they say about boredom…you find that here! Welcome to the land of ADHD. At least you’ve found your Tribe!

All the best,
Zoë
P.S. Thoroughly enjoyable and insightful post, Kelly. You’ve done it again! Thanks.

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